Journey into Darkness 6/15
June 16, 2009
Well, I am anxious and my chest is tight. The house is in need of a pick-me-up, my oldest daughter is stressing me out to no end. I am so tired and feel such pressure. I don’t think my husband understand the pressure. The pressure builds and I need to release it, so I binge and now I am waiting to purge. It’s old and endless cycle. I know when I purge, I will get a release for a moment. I will be free, just for a minute.
Journey into Darkness 6/09
June 14, 2009
I’m sinking. It’s getting dark. I’m tired and I am wanting someone to hold me with no expectations. I am feeling wanted to death and I am always failing someone. I’m running on empty. The last 2 days, I have binged and purged. Only once a day, but I hate that it still has a hold of me. I’m strapped down and stripped over and over with bulemia. I hate it, but I can’t let it go. I’m so tired, so very tired. Stress at work. Pressure at home. Can I just disappear for a while?
Journey into Darkness 6/9
June 10, 2009
Work,lunch with the hubby and lil one at JJ juice, back to work, therapy (for ole’ crazy), pedicure, watering the flowers and plants with the kids, dinner, snuggles. All in all, it was a pretty good day. I have escaped the darkness. I am not flying to the heavens, nor am I crashing to the hells, but I am reaching higher. I am creative, I am strong, maybe a little too strong. When you get the label, suddenly your not sure if your good day is really a manic day on the verge. I’m optimistic…it’s a good day.
Journey into Darkness 6/6
June 7, 2009
I slept great last night, aside from my 4 year old who snuck into bed and then peed on my leg. YUCK. Gotta love her. She did say sorry in her groggy and soggy mind as we cleaned up the soppy mess. Emotionally, I am feeling better. A bit more level with just a bit of edgy and a dab of why bother. My snarky sarcasm is back, which is great for me and scary for the rest of the world. I get to sleep in tomorrow, which is a small slice of heaven. Amen! Another day, relatively untouched by crazy.
WORLD OF WARCRAFT – LOVE IT OR HATE IT – THIS IS FOR YOU!
Do you love gaming? Are you an on-line gamer? Do you play endless hours of WOW, with your spouse, girlfriend, kids or dog wondering what on earth you are doing? Do you even wonder, every now and then, what the hell has happened to you? You live in a pseudo life with potions, and planned raids, and a bunch of other guys from around the world, who live fantasy lives too.
I am a gaming widow and yes, I am a bit bitter about it. I met my now husband, between gaming systems and we lived in different cities. He kept his gaming hidden…until we were married. POW – I was now married to the back of a mans head, who could literally sit in one place all day long – if I let him. Sure, he would move to pee ( I know he has secretly considered a catheter) and maybe get a beer. But other than that, it’s all about the Shaman baby.
Yes, I who am more like Kerry from “Sex in the City.” knows about these raids, potions and shaman. My dinners have been ignored, as well as my conversations. The only place I win…he still prefers me over computer porn, but I am sure it is a tight race. I have lost years to WOW and you know what, I don’t even try to compete anymore. He has improved, greatly, but best of all…he has co-created a website that I can laugh at him, with him.
Yes, a website that clowns gamers by gamers. I love the fact that I don’t game, in fact, hate gaming and I click on his comic-strip and laugh. Check it out, love it or hate it http://comicstripclub.com/2008/05/22/you-have-big-hands/
